Image wranglers

Suspend your disbelief at the front door of Worth 1000 which collects outrageous Photoshoppery for your amusement. Most of these photomontages are completely convincing, many are downright funny.

Try the category of Payback Time for instant chuckles.

Windows to the power of N

One of the stipulations of the EU's punishment of Microsoft for its anti-competitive behaviour is that must offer a version of Windows without bundling Windows Media Player.

Microsoft being Microsoft and not actually accepting it has doing anything wrong cheekily suggested calling it, among other things, Windows XP Reduced Media Edition. The EU was having none of it and came up with the uninspired but less offputting Windows XP N.

Will consumers bother seeking it out or even notice that there are two editions on the shelves? Probably not - most people get their Windows with a new computer and it's the last thing you'd pay attention to while deliberating over more important things such as RAM or hard drive.

Too much TV even for me

As an unabashed fan of digital video recorder (DVR) Sky+, the prospect of the next-generation version which quadruples capacity to 80 hours of TV had me salivating. That might to be too much TV for most people but read the full verdict on Sky+160 in today's paper anyway.

In short, it's noisy, expensive and yet ... some day all TV will be viewed this way. You could upgrade a first-generation Sky+ with a larger hard drive for much less moolah but if you're unwilling to tinker, then Sky+160 opens the door to an alternative universe where every show is worth watching.

There's also a quick look at Plantronics' GameCom Pro 1, a hefty headset for hardcore gamers whose price tag will put off most others.

In games, Fight Night Round 2 (PS2/Xbox) is punishing to the thumbs (and fingers and wrists) but is still the best console approximation of boxing. Not much has changed from Round 1, though. Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath (Xbox) has nothing to do with the farting aliens of the previous games but carves its own lovely world. Shame it gets a bit dull after a while. Last, we have Rugby 2005 (PS2/Xbox) which scores highly for "most-improved" over 2004's piece of shite but is still frustratingly flawed.

See through your desktop

It's a trick, of course, but some careful photography and the use of a desktop picture can give the impression your computer's screen is transparent. Visit the slideshow at Flickr for a bucket of examples.

Citywide web of Wi-Fi

Wi-Fi is a terrific technology but its range tends to be limited to about 50 feet around hotspots - and they tend to be few and far between. But mesh networks have the potential to create enormous Wi-Fi hotspots. Smart Telecom says it has create Europe's first citywide Wi-Fi network in Cork using mesh gear.

It will be free (briefly) but Smart rather rashly intends charging soon (we'll see how long that lasts - Cork city should do the clever thing and just fund it themselves). Smart says it has its eye on another Irish city to repeat the feat, but I'm betting Dublin won't be it, purely on size grounds.

If these mesh networks are successful, they could be a real threat to Vodafone and O2, offering far better value on large amounts of data.

Mac update

Apple has issued another set of security fixes for Mac OS X, the third this year. The 15MB download plugs several holes (most of them theoretical) but of most note is the one in Safari which has been closed to prevent domain spoofing (where the URL in the address bar is forged to appear to be something else).

Gigantic mailboxes

Just as Gmail shows signs of emerging from beta, Yahoo! has promised to match the famous 1GB of storage on offer from the Googlers. Within a month, Yahoo! mailboxes will be upgraded from the current 250MB to the magic one-gig.

It pisses all over the paltry 2MB which Hotmail persists with this side of the big pond - despite promises made last summer that every user would get substantially more storage in a staggered upgrade. However, you can get a 250MB Hotmail mailbox if you sign up for a new address and lie that you are in the United States. But you wouldn't do that, would you?

NextBox

Looks as if Microsoft will show a little bit of imagination in naming the next generation of Xbox. According to The Inquirer, the new console, due out in late 2005, goes by the official moniker of Xbox 360, presumably for its all-round greatness.

Sony gives in on MP3

Sony: great company but oh-so bloodyminded. It was determined to ignore MP3 for so long while pushing its competing ATRAC format. But the market has spoken and, with consumers ignoring its digital-music products in droves while lapping up rivals from Apple and Creative, Sony finally gave in.

The first fruit of its decision to support MP3 natively is reviewed in today's column. The NW-HD3 is a slightly revamped version of its first hard-disk-based player. Bottom line: looks great, fantastic battery life but software still lets it down. Get the full verdict in the paper.

Also reviewed is Apple's iLife '05, a bountiful suite of (Mac only) programs to manage photos, home movies and music. At €80, it has no equal but not everybody will need the full range of features.

In games, Star Wars: Republic Commando is a frenetic FPS with a squad twist, Death By Degrees is an unsuccessful mash-up of beat-em-up and action-adventure while Cold Fear is an atmospheric attempt at survival horror which is torpedoed by awkward camera and controls.

3G shunned

The Guardian reports that Vodafone is struggling to attract phone owners in Britain to 3G. According to sources in the phone trade, Voda has pulled in fewer than 200,000 customers to the all-singing, all-dancing multimedia extravaganza. Many of those apparently were existing users whose tie-in contracts were expiring and presumably were just rolled over onto 3G on the same tariff.

No one, except maybe the network itself, should be surprised given the cost of the services and their general unreliability. Vodafone UK refuses to confirm the figures and, from past experience with their Irish counterparts, it would be pointless to ask how 3G is performing this side of the Irish Sea.

Gizza Gizmondo

The question was posed and it took more than a week to get the answer but Log On has finally established when Gizmondo will launch in Ireland - next month.

What, you didn't care about yet another handheld games console? Though no one's quite sure yet, the Giz - as the makers would like it to be known in street lingo - looks quite powerful, being based on Windows CE (which PocketPCs use) but also incorporating some intruiging features such as GPS, MP3 playing and multiplayer over mobile-phone networks (like the N-Gage).

So April 19 is the big day for Ireland and you'll be able to walk into retailers such as 3G, Xtravision and Spectra with €350 and walk out with the shiny black beast. About 20 games are pencilled in for the launch but only a handful are household names (such as Richard Burns Rally).

Gizmondo has done a deal with Vodafone in the UK to bundle a pre-paid SIM card to enable the handheld to send text messages and use GPRS for multiplayer (but not make voice calls). The deal may well be reproduced here.

Rather worringly, Vodafone is also pushing its voluntary marketing scheme whereby you opt in to receive ads on your Gizmondo. What a terrific idea. Not.

The price of file-sharing

You don't get nuffing for nuffing and when you download a PC-based file-sharing program such as Kazaa or eDonkey you're buying into a whole lot of trouble. According to one researcher, you're expected to read up to 22,000 words of a licence agreement when installing a typical P2P app.

And nobody reads the first 50 words, never mind the next 20,000, right? Unfortunately, as the research points out, you're typically agreeing to the installation of half a dozen extras, at least some of which is spyware.

Think twice the next time you go looking for some freebies.

Dead Smart or Dead Stupid?

Wanna know whether it's worth plunking down for a Nintendo DS, launched at €149 last Friday? Don't ask me, Nintendo offers no cooperation to Irish journalists and consequently there won't be any coverage at Log On Towers.

But don't let that stop you browsing the online reviews here and here and making your own mind up.

The digested version: it's not a patch on the PSP but then it's here now and Sony's baby won't be making a delayed appearance until June, at the earliest.

And the winners are...

The winners of the 2005 Bloggies - recognising the best of this bastard breed - are out. Few surprises but worth dipping into some of the medallists if you're unfamiliar with the genre.

And be outraged that The Log On Daily didn't even warrant a mention.

Got mad skillz at GT4? Win a Nissan 350Z

GT4 is the racer by which all PS2 speedsters are judged (though as mentioned in the previous post it isn't perfect). The complex handling corresponds closely to how real road cars react. So if you fancy yourself as a bit of a Schumacher, put your mad skillz to good use in PlayStation Ireland's virtual race to win a (real) Nissan 350Z.

Details are on the site but it involves posting a hot lap time at the punishing Nurburgring circuit in GT4. Considering that's about eight minutes a pop, you're gonna spend a lot of time in front of the screen to win this one. Shame the site doesn't tell you beforehand what you're aiming for.

3G: It'll be great when it's finished

In today's paper, Log On revisits Vodafone's 3G service, three months after a first look suggested it could be great but was too glitchy. Nothing's changed in the interim, sadly - the Premiership goals are still a winner but the rest is ho-hum and 3G itself is riddled with problems.

At the end of the month, Vodafone intends charging for all the downloads it has been offering free on a trial basis. An extension of the trial would be a better option while 3G users are still the bug testers for Vodafone.

Also reviewed is Microsoft's Optical Desktop Elite for Bluetooth keyboard/mouse combo. Good jaysus, it costs €185! You don't need Bluetooth that badly, do you?

In games, Gran Turismo 4 plays out exactly like the last one, which at this stage of the series is a problem. Also reviewed: NBA Street V3 (this version of loose-as-a-goose interpretation of boring game is the best yet) and Rumble Roses (pseudo-porn masking so-so wrestling title)

Broadband blast-off

Perhaps spurred by Smart Telecom's promise of a 2Mbps connection (and free line rental), Eircom has stepped up to the plate and pledged to double all new and existing broadband customers' speeds to 1Mbps (or 2Mbps for existing premium 512Kbps customers).

Esat BT quickly followed suit on the back of Eircom's accompanying wholesale deal and no doubt UTV will also get on board.

Esat customers will be automatically upgraded on April 4, Eircom's by April 8.

What hasn't changed is the monthly charge (in Esat's case €39 or €33 with phone service; Eircom €40 or €55 for premium service), nor, sadly, the upload speed - which will still be stuck at a measly 128Kbps.

There is some suggestion but no confirmation that the download cap will be raised. At 1Mbps, reaching Eircom's monthly download cap of 4GB has suddenly got a whole lot easier. That said, very few customers of any company have been charged for breaching their cap.

Without being ungrateful, however, not everyone needs 1Mbps, so Eircom should really have cut the price of the existing 512Kbps service, but this speed is not an option any more.

So though Eircom has been quick to trumpet how its starter product is now among the fastest in Europe, it conveniently ignores the fact that the price of that product is still higher than that of many of our neighbours.

Dynamic duo return

No, not Batman & Robin, it's Wallace & Gromit. Long before Finding Nemo or Monsters Inc, the stop-motion animation of the cheese-crazed inventor Wallace and his lugubrious dog Gromit had us (well, me anyway) in stitches.

Creator Nick Park is now making good on the promise of a feature-length W&G after The Wrong Trousers won an Oscar for best short in 1993. Imaginatively titled Wallace and Gromit, there's some tantalising footage now online of the new flick plus some behind-the-scenes making-of stuff. W&G is due for release in October.

Xbox Next

Rumours have been swirling about the make-up of Xbox 2 - or Xbox Next or Xenon, whatever its codename is these days - but now the kimono has parted to reveal several crucial details of Microsoft's next-generation console, due for release probably late this year.

There's a good, in-depth summary at Gamespy of what Microsoft revealed in a briefing this week. Xbox Live features heavily in the new connectivity of the new machine but the raw specs seem pretty mind-blowing too.

Virgin podcast

London's Virgin Radio has become the first major station to podcast one of its shows on a daily basis. Take a refresher here if you're unclear what this podcasting business is all about but basically Virgin has taken its daily breakfast show, edited out the music, news, weather and traffic, and made it available for download to an MP3 player. You still have to listen to the friggin' ads, though.

So what, you might say, the best bits are gone - and you'd be half-right. What's left is the DJ chatter from hosts Pete and Geoff. Let's face it, they ain't Podge and Rodge. But it's an interesting exercise nonetheless if your connection is up to the 21MB daily download.

It isn't the only UK station to jump on the podcast bandwagon - BBC's Five Live already uploads its weekly sports quiz Fighting Talk for podding.

Automatic for the people

Moving house is renowned as highly stressful and NewAddress.ie seeks to remove one of the hassles of setting up at the new gaff by automating the process of changing your contact details with all those companies you deal with.

It's a free service and, while it's not connected to many businesses yet, after you've entered your new details once, NewAddress distributes them to about 25 firms including Vodafone and Superquinn (its loyalty card scheme) and banks and insurance companies. Shame the site couldn't put up the full list of partner companies. It doesn't appear to automatically instruct An Post to redirect your mail either.

Don't go rushing to sign up yet anyway, the service doesn't appear to be live for now.

Do the Shuffle

After playing with Apple's new iPod Shuffle for a couple of weeks, I can't be sure whether I hate it or, well, admire Apple for its cheek. Having used a full-sized iPod for more than three years, the tiny but screenless Shuffle involves too many compromises for it to be acceptable to me.

But I could see the attraction for anyone with a small music collection or who needs a svelte MP3 player to slip on while jogging, etc. Read the full verdict in today's paper.

Also reviewed is Epson's multi-function Stylus Photo RX620, which is described in the blurb as a "photo centre" but in reality is a printer cum scanner. Practically, this means it handles any image you throw it - negative, transparency, print, memory card, you name it. Three cheers too to Epson for defying retailers who resist attempts to include a USB cable with the printer (so they can charge you extra for the lead). The cord is present and correct, hurrah.

In games, Star Wars RPG epic Knights of the Old Republic makes a welcome return for part two. It looks cack but, damn, it spins a good story. Also reviewed is The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (makes no sense to anyone over age nine but reasonable platform fun) and Astro Boy (manga hero done a disservice).

Ready to rumble?

Continuing its push to make Xbox Live a hub of community gaming, Microsoft has launched the Irish Halo 2 championships to find the No.1 Master Chief in the country. Go register at the Xbox Ireland site and start fragging the hell out of everyone on the Rumble Pit map on Xbox Live.

There are some tasty prizes up for grabs, including a camcorder and (woohoo!) a plaque. Seeing as there are several similar championships running in parallel across Europe, it's a fair bet the overall winners might have a crack at challenging each other in a sort of Euro 2005 for Xbox.

Find legit music files, videos, ringtones

GoFish is (yet another) search engine but this one specialises in locating legitimate music files (in online stores, etc) and other multimedia.

Now searching over 12 million media files, says the front page. That might not sound a lot in the context of the billions of web pages catalogued by Google but at least you'll be sure of the relevance of the results

Yahoo! netrospective

Yahoo! - the! web's! first! search! engine! - was 10 years old this week and while it's no longer the first choice for many users, it still has much to offer as a portal for newbies.

Have a shufty at the netrospective of 100 moments from its history via the clever 10x10 picture grid mentioned in this parish last week.

One last desperate shuffle of the deck for N-Gage

According to an unconfirmed post over Games Digest, Nokia is about to slash the prices on N-Gage games, from €50 down to at most €40 and as low as €25. It would clearly be a last-ditch plot to build market share just as Sony's PSP and Nintendo's DS thunder into view.

The handheld itself is slated for a trimming too, according to GD, but no word on the exact price cut.

Sadly, it's too little, too late for Nokia. The phone/gaming hybrid was expected to sell six million in a year but so far has tallied only 1.4m. This is its dying breath as a serious contender. Nokia will undoubtedly have learned much from the failure but I wouldn't like to be the man who green-lighted this whole sorry project.

Even as the N-Gage vanishes into the rear-view mirror, another David enters to take on the Goliaths - Gizmondo, long viewed as vapourware for its interminable gestation, has announced its Windows CE-based handheld will hit the shop on March 19. I say "shop" because apart from the Gizmondo retail outlet on London's Regent Street, nowhere else seems to be selling it. Will get on to the Gizmondo PR people on Monday and ask that very question.

Good voodoo and gadgets for girls

It's way off-topic and not even vaguely electronic but this widget which came to my attention via girly site PopGadget still has me chuckling a few hours later. Every kitchen should have one.

For a different take on technology, PopGadget is worth a browse, despite its US-centric nature. See also (UK-based) ShinyShiny and GirlsStuff.

Wireless treasure

In a neat twist on the treasure hunt theme, those idle students over at DCU have being putting their ample free time to good use in devising a Wi-Fi-based game to search for hidden goodies.

Or more specifically, a bloke carrying a wireless access point serving up a website with a question that needs to be answered, with the prize being a handy 200 yo-yos. Sounds complicated but all you need is a wireless-enabled laptop or PDA plus some free "listening" software to help you pinpoint the signal, which will be located somewhere around Stephen's Green.

Check out the WaveHunt page for more details of the competition, which happens on Saturday. Great idea, more like this one, guys, please. And well done for making it on to Slashdot.

Cheap Thrills

Fancy kicking some sorry pop-star ass over Xbox Live? Irish musos The Thrills are one of the bands who'll be playing online against all-comers this month across a variety of games.

The Blackrock boys are pencilled in for St Patrick's Day (how corny!) and obscure rockers Kasabian are dropping in the following week, on a date to be confirmed. Microsoft seems determined to foster the community spirit and drive the uptake of Xbox Live with a regular series of themed nights on the online service. Lots of prizes to be won but don't forget you're competing against most of Europe. You'll have to be real good.

Check the Xbox Live calendar for more details.

Not so daft-a Bafta

Half-Life 2 was the deserved winner of a clutch of Baftas last night at the annual awards ceremony honoured the best of gaming. HL2 topped out in five categories, including best game.

Respect is also due to Burnout 3 (best racer), Pro Evo Soccer 4 (sport) and Halo 2 (Xbox king). No sign of the full list at the Bafta site so check out the Guardian instead.

Nasty noodles

This dodgy carcinogenic food dye business looks set to run and run. The product list involved gets longer by the day so it's worth checking out the Food Safety Authority's nasty noodle list.

It seems to be updated regularly and, though the risk associated with eating the products is probably too small to be measured with the naked eye, forewarned is forearmed, eh?

Mini no small achievement

In this week's column, we go hands-on with Apple's Mac Mini, the tiny computer for an even tinier price. It doesn't come with a monitor, keyboard or mouse - but then it doesn't come with the usual virus headaches familiar to Windows users either. Check out today's paper for the full verdict on Apple's first €500 computer aimed at PC users wanting to switch.

In games, Mercenaries for PS2 and Xbox takes the Grand Theft Auto template and cross-breeds it with a military shooter. Result: Not half-bad but not as great as its chart-topping performance might suggest. Also reviewed are a trio of budget-priced US imports from the ESPN stable: NFL/NBA/NHL 2k5. Go for NFL, it's the pick of the bunch.